Hello Jemima. This is a good piece of persuasive writing. I like the way you have included a question in your writing: “Are you concerned…?” – you will find this kind of writing in leaflets and brochures! And I like your use of sub-heading for each paragraph. Well done!
To improve your writing next time, just be careful about your capital letters (sometimes you write St Paul’s and all Hallows, sometimes All Hallows etc.).
Thank you for your constructive criticism, I realised that in one sentence I wrote all capital and in another a small letter. I now know that next time I will be careful when writing the name of the school.
Hello Jemima, this work is out-standing and I think you have covered all the points in persuasive writing that had to be covered/acomplished. I also admire the way you have used rhetorical questions in your writing and this is also a very realistic leaflet and is like the ones that you would really see. This leaflet really catches my eye and if I was a parent I know I would send my child to this school because of your poster. Brrrriliant work. Well done!!!!!
Jemima, a fantastic piece of work, well done. What about parents who may be interested in outstanding behaviour in a school for their children, or a good reward system. Are there are positive ideas that you can “sell” your school on. What other factors may parents be interesting in when trying to come to a decision about the choice of school for their child?
If parents are interested in a good reward system, I would inform them that the children are rewarded everyday. We have a special assembly every Friday where pupils are rewarded publicly. They receive a certificate that explains how and why they have been chosen that week. Also two children are allowed to leave class to participate in fun activities because of their good behaviour throughout the week. St.Paul’s and All Hallows School makes sure that positive behaviour is reinforced, so children continue to display good behaviour.
The behaviour at St.Paul’s and All Hallows School is outstanding because children are always respectful to each other.The pupils always put smiles on the teacher’s faces.
Parents might also interested in whether the school provides physical activities and the school’s lunch or food system.
Wow your blog about our school completely blew me away! I love the way that you’ve said what you enjoy about the school and how included the clubs. I seriously hope you keep on blogging, I’m looking forward to reading your blogs!
Hello Jemima. This is a good piece of persuasive writing. I like the way you have included a question in your writing: “Are you concerned…?” – you will find this kind of writing in leaflets and brochures! And I like your use of sub-heading for each paragraph. Well done!
To improve your writing next time, just be careful about your capital letters (sometimes you write St Paul’s and all Hallows, sometimes All Hallows etc.).
Thank you for your constructive criticism, I realised that in one sentence I wrote all capital and in another a small letter. I now know that next time I will be careful when writing the name of the school.
Hello Jemima, this work is out-standing and I think you have covered all the points in persuasive writing that had to be covered/acomplished. I also admire the way you have used rhetorical questions in your writing and this is also a very realistic leaflet and is like the ones that you would really see. This leaflet really catches my eye and if I was a parent I know I would send my child to this school because of your poster. Brrrriliant work. Well done!!!!!
Jemima, a fantastic piece of work, well done. What about parents who may be interested in outstanding behaviour in a school for their children, or a good reward system. Are there are positive ideas that you can “sell” your school on. What other factors may parents be interesting in when trying to come to a decision about the choice of school for their child?
If parents are interested in a good reward system, I would inform them that the children are rewarded everyday. We have a special assembly every Friday where pupils are rewarded publicly. They receive a certificate that explains how and why they have been chosen that week. Also two children are allowed to leave class to participate in fun activities because of their good behaviour throughout the week. St.Paul’s and All Hallows School makes sure that positive behaviour is reinforced, so children continue to display good behaviour.
The behaviour at St.Paul’s and All Hallows School is outstanding because children are always respectful to each other.The pupils always put smiles on the teacher’s faces.
Parents might also interested in whether the school provides physical activities and the school’s lunch or food system.
This truly deserves a level 5, well done for your fantastic effort.
I hope you keep on blogging
Wow your blog about our school completely blew me away! I love the way that you’ve said what you enjoy about the school and how included the clubs. I seriously hope you keep on blogging, I’m looking forward to reading your blogs!
Nikkala
Wow your blog is perfect.