Wow Ruby and Kimberley, together you have made this a great piece of writing! I also admire the way you both have used imagery and in this peice of writing, the image created in my mind is a very sad and bad attitude. Also, awesome use of suspense in your work. Impeccable work!!!!
Hannah
WOW great 100wc Kimberly and Ruby you to made the story really interesting. I really want to know what happeneds next. You both have a really good imagination to create such a great story. I really want to read on other peace of your writing. It was definitely one of the best 100wc I have read.
Hi my name is lucy and here is what I like about your amazing work:
* I like that you’ve used apostraphe’s in the right place
* I like that you’ve used separated it really sums it up nicely
WISH: Try to use some ! at the end of a really short sentance like BANG! CRASH!
Why are your parents always arguing? What are they arguing about?
When you have time come and visit our blog and comment on our work: http://year6bellevue2012.primaryblogger.co.uk/tag/lucy-r/
This is a great story. I think it was a good idea to use the word separated this way to give your writing emotion.
Ms Moroney
Year 6 Australia http://www.technotips.edublogs.org
that is great
A very intersting 100 word challenge well done
i know it was very interesting well done ruby and kimberly
WOW!!!
Nice use of suspense
I was really intrigued
Wow Ruby and Kimberley, together you have made this a great piece of writing! I also admire the way you both have used imagery and in this peice of writing, the image created in my mind is a very sad and bad attitude. Also, awesome use of suspense in your work. Impeccable work!!!!
Hannah
that was a great 100 word story i will love to be seeing more of this writing
Ruby and Kimberley you are both have talent because even I will not be able to do that.
WOW great 100wc Kimberly and Ruby you to made the story really interesting. I really want to know what happeneds next. You both have a really good imagination to create such a great story. I really want to read on other peace of your writing. It was definitely one of the best 100wc I have read.
Hi my name is lucy and here is what I like about your amazing work:
* I like that you’ve used apostraphe’s in the right place
* I like that you’ve used separated it really sums it up nicely
WISH: Try to use some ! at the end of a really short sentance like BANG! CRASH!
Why are your parents always arguing? What are they arguing about?
When you have time come and visit our blog and comment on our work:
http://year6bellevue2012.primaryblogger.co.uk/tag/lucy-r/
Hi i am Georgia
i love your work
good punctuation
good connectives
http://year6bellevue2012.primaryblogger.co.uk/?
please visit our blog
This is a great story. I think it was a good idea to use the word separated this way to give your writing emotion.
Ms Moroney
Year 6 Australia
http://www.technotips.edublogs.org
thanks miss for that compiment. It is great to hear from someone from such a talented country
thanks guys for all your lovely comments. kimberley and I will try and make a follow up
Also we will take in all your advice